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Pea Pod Pt2

Bizarre
2005-11-23

Pea Pod Pt2
I awoke to Meka’s smiling face, β€œAre you alright Doug?Β  I think you fainted. Β  I took the liberty of placing you into your bed. Β  Then I discovered a wonderful device in your living room. Β  Your television is a wonderful teaching tool. Β  I also used your credit cards to order both of us appropriate clothing from the QVC channel, most stylish if I do say so myself. ”
β€œMeka!Β  You speak English!Β  How…” I started.
β€œI believe, I have already told you Doug. Β  I used your television to teach myself your language. Β  Am I using it incorrectly?” she inquired, rather sophisticatedly.
β€œCome here and kiss me, smart ass,” I told her.
β€œMy pleasure beautiful,” she agreed and stuck her tongue down my neck. Β  She started caressing my breasts and then placed a hand between my legs, slipping a finger into my… other butt, just as the plant had.
β€˜Oh shit, the second half of my ecstasy in the plant… it had been, fucking me,’ I thought as other similarities started to make themselves apparent.
My cock was a little nubbin in the front of my new wet slit. Β  It must be my clitoris.
β€œOh… oh… ooh, oh Meka.

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  Β  Don’t stop!Β  Don’t ever stop baby. Β  Oh, fuck me baby, fuck me. ”  β€˜What in the hell, am I saying?Β  I sound like a slut,’ I thought.
β€œOoh Doug, I love it when you beg. Β  Come on sweetie. Β  Cum for me baby,” she urged as she diddled the hell out of my sopping wet cunt.
β€œOh God… Oh God… Oh GOD!” and I felt myself gush out of my new vulva.
β€œThat was so cute, my little Dougie. Β  How do you like orgasming as a woman?” she asked as she kissed my face up one side and down the other.
β€œI… I… I don’t believe… believe it could be like that,” I exclaimed lying there caressing up and down the curves of my own new body.
β€œI was surprised to find out that you like breast that big, when the genetic alteration bio-form released you,” she stated as she gently felt my gigantic breasts.
β€œWhat do you mean, β€˜like breasts this big?’” I asked incredulously, using my little feminine hands to indicate the mammaries to which I referred.
β€œThe bio-form changes you into your ideal woman, well actually just the body of your Ideal woman, it doesn’t change your mind. Β  The mind that I fell in love with,” she kissed me making my girly body melt into shuddering puddles of feminine desire.
β€œCome on missy, you and I need a shower.

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  Β  I love the shower. Β  I used it a while ago after you fainted and I think it is one of the greatest inventions of your civilization,” she stated emphatically.
β€œDon’t make your decision too quickly. Β  There are more where that came from, wait until you slide into a Hot Tub,” I teased her.
β€œWhat is a β€˜Hot Tub’?” she looked puzzled.
β€œI’ll show you later, after we go shopping and pick us up a couple bikinis,” I smiled at her and caressed her sides allowing my hands to enjoy the curves of her lithe body.
β€œI love it when you do that Doog,” she admitted, and a shudder trembled through her body.
β€œHa, ha… you called me Doog, just like when we were back on your world. Β  I still think it’s cute,” I giggled as I rubbed down her flat stomach.
β€œI know Doog, how much, β€˜Doog like native girl’,” she giggled as she teased me.
β€œShit girl, you’re making me as hot as a volcano. Β  We better get in the shower before I ravish you right here,” I admitted as I held her close from behind, caressing her in all of the right places.
β€œOoh Doog, ravish me, smother me in your beautiful breasts. Β  Make me feel like a whole woman,” she crooned, knowing full well what she was doing to me.
Little did she know of my toy collection, but she was going to find out now, β€œYour wish is my command.

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  β€Β  I started manipulating her clitoris as I walked her towards the headboard. Β  By the time we arrived at the headboard she had already orgasmed once and I had to help support her weak kneed trek around the Serta Dream land awaiting us. Β  (Sheep… eat your hearts out!)
She fell onto the mattress, grateful to be off her knees and somewhere she could spread her legs wide and offer herself up to me.
β€œBe patient my love, daddy is home and he is going to give you the fucking of your lifetime,” I told her as I finished donning the strap-on left behind by an old girlfriend. Β  (Don’t ask!)
β€œDoog what?” she started as I squirted KY jelly all over her lovely vulva and my strap-on.
Her question disappeared into oblivion as the ecstasy of being, fucked by a boner that would never soften, enveloped her.
I banged my hips into her screaming body, Mons Veneris, to Mons Veneris, until she pleaded with me to stop before she lost consciousness.
β€œOh Doog, you make love to me like never before,” she kissed me repeatedly all over my face.
β€œI’m sorry I can’t use a real cock on you my love. Β  Is this a better invention than the shower?” I giggled as I teased her.
β€œGod yes!Β  I can’t wait until I can take some of them back to my sisters,” she stated excitedly.
β€œWhat?” I screeched dumfounded.
β€œWill you not allow me to take some of these back to your other wives?” she looked so disappointed and longingly at me, like she wanted to but if I told her no, she would do as I asked.
β€œMeka dearest, I would never deny you or ah… my other wives anything that was in my power to provide. Β  Are you saying that you can return to your world?Β  That I can return to your world?” I asked with disbelief.

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β€œAt any time my husband desires,” she assured me.
β€œHow?” I asked.
β€œCome with me sweetie,” she beckoned.
I followed her into the back room of my apartment. Β  As I approached her, she took my arm and shoved it through the wall, pulling it back quickly, β€œSee Doug, I have left the portal open. Β  We may visit my world at will. Β  I know that my sisters will go crazy if you bring to them, your marvelous girl penises, or some of the wonderful lingerie that I have bought for us. Β  You will be the most popular of husbands in the village, even if you cannot give them sons any longer,” she assured me.
β€œWhat makes you think I cannot give them sons anymore?” I teased.
β€œMy husband, it could be that lovely pussy between your legs, or those magnificent breasts that adorn your oh so feminine body,” she kissed me as she said this, so I would know that even though I was, as she claimed, that she still loved me.
β€œSilly girl, on my world we have what is known as artificial insemination. Β  I could bring the sperm of many men to your world and give children to all of my loving wives. Β  On the other hand, we can simply bring them here and get them wildly fucked by hundreds of horny guys. Β  Do you think they would like that?” I whispered into her ear.
β€œThere are that many men here beloved?” she asked wide eyed.

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β€œThere are that many and more Meka. Β  With some of my wives we could start our own escort service, make money to buy all of the things you would want for your world and get everyone of your sisters knocked up. Β  To top it all off, we could provide a service to some of the men on my world who desire to become women, with all of their hearts,” I offered.
β€œThere are really such men?Β  Who would willingly sacrifice their manhood to become as we are?” she could not understand why someone would willingly do such a thing.
β€œDon’t worry my love, once you have experienced what is to be a beautiful woman in my world, you will begin to understand. Β  Some men feel that they were born as the wrong sex and spend most of their lives unhappy. Β  Some even have an operation that makes them look like women, though they could never have babies. Β  They would give anything to have happen to them on purpose, what was forced upon me, including spending months on your world fucking the daylights out of all of our sisters,” I smiled as I nuzzled her ear.
β€œIf you say it my dearest, I must believe it, though I find it so difficult to believe,” her hand came up and stroked my soft cheek.
β€œIn that case Meka, I say I stink and need a shower. Β  Do you believe me?” I giggled.
She made a grimace and said, β€œI was hoping you would say that, stinky, I didn’t want to mention it,” she held my face and kissed me again, β€œLet us go and hose you down. Β  We must get dressed and go shopping!”
Once in the shower, while I was scrubbing Meka’s back I asked her hesitantly, β€œMeka, would you mind having another sister?” as I moved the louffa up, down, and all around.
β€œAre you trying to tell me that you already have a wife, Doug?” she froze in apprehension.
β€œNo Meka, I do not have a wife, I did have a girl friend who was special to me.

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  Β  I do not know how she will react to me as a big boobed girl, but I hope she will at least help us,” I informed her, β€œwe are going to have plenty to learn about being women in my society and if Gwen will agree, she would be a big help to the both of us. ”
Meka, turned and held me close, β€œAs long as she will not take you away from me, I would love to have another sister,” then she kissed me, β€œI was going to ask you if you knew anyone who could teach us. Β  I could teach you on my world, but some of the pretty undergarments that ladies wear here are very complicated. Β  When you were sleeping, (I noticed that she did not say fainted. )Β  I tried to wear a brassiere, but couldn’t figure out how to put it on, it is a very complex garment,” she informed me, big doe like eyes speaking her earnestness.
β€œAt least, that is one womanly thing that I know how women wear. Β  I had to figure out how to take them off of girls at a young age,” I giggled at her.
β€œYou were a naughty boy,” she said as she dried off my tender skin, β€œOh my that looks cold. Β  Let me help. ”
She had my nipple in her warm mouth almost before I could gasp in surprise, which turned to a gasp of pleasure.
β€œThere that one has relaxed, but the other one needs my help,” she warmed my nipple on the other breast.
β€œI think you are going to have to dry my pussy off again, it seems to be drooling again,” I told her as I groped her C cup sized mammaries.
β€œAlright, I’ll stop. Β  You will have me on my knees orgasming and we will never leave the shower,” she stopped her teasing.
Once out of the tub, I snapped up a pair of French cut panties and held them out for her to step in to.

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  Β  She moaned as I slid them up her legs.
β€œHow do your women stand this?Β  I think I will have to play with myself all day with these wisps of cloth hugging my sex,” she was panting heavily.
β€œI have often wondered myself Meka. Β  But these are what women here wear,” I informed her, reaching for one of the bras that must be for her. Β  (It was the small one. )
I helped her into it and adjusted everything as best I could.
β€œOh Doug, this is a marvel. Β  My breasts feel wonderful in this, like someone is walking behind me, their hands cupping and holding up my bosom. Β  My sisters will be in heaven. Β  You are going to bring such joy to them, there might be a statue made in the village square to honor you,” she teased, as she encapsulated my huge jiggly mammaries in a beautiful crimson bra. Β  β€œThis is making me soak my new panties, your breasts look totally delicious held in there. ”
I looked at the new me in the bathroom mirror and swooned.
Luckily, Meka caught me, β€œDoug, are you sick?”
β€œThat cannot, be me,” I told her pointing at the mirror.
Meka hugged me, β€œYes Doug, that sweet sexy looking girl is you. Β  You are the prettiest woman I know.

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  Β  When I see you all I can think of is making love to you. ”
I have strawberry blonde hair, big green eyes, stand five foot nothing, and have giant tits. Β  I could get top billing in any issue of Score magazine. Β  β€œGwen is not going to believe this is me. Β  No way in the world. ”
I thought about it a minute, β€œMeka I think we are going to have to trick Gwen to get her to come over here, so that we can convince her that I am me. ”
β€œI can see the truth in that. Β  What do you want me to do?” she asked.
I explained my plan to her.
**********β€œHello Gwen?Β  My name is Meka. Β  You don’t know me, but Doug Gordon asked me to call you. Β  He was lost in the jungle for over a month and is very sick and needs your help. ”
β€œWhat can I do?” she answered, β€œI’m not a nurse. ”
β€œI don’t know either, he just keeps asking for you. Β  I have been trying to nurse him back to health, but he claims that he needs to see you, and that is all that will be able to help him.

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  β€
β€œIf you’re a nurse, then you certainly can do more for him than I can. Β  Don’t get me wrong, I will help if I can, but I have no idea what I could do to help. ”
β€œI’m not a nurse either Gwen. Β  Doug’s mother sent me over to look after him. Β  He won’t let me call an ambulance or take him to the hospital. Β  Can you come to his place and help me convince him to get professional help?”
β€œThat stubborn jerk!Β  Yes, I’ll be over in twenty minutes and between the two of us, we might be able to beat some sense into him. Β  I’ll see you soon Meka, bye. ”
**********β€œShe is on her way Doug. Β  I hate having to lie to her. Β  Are you sure this is the only way?” she looked so remorseful sitting on the sofa, hands clasped sitting on her knees, pinning her navy blue skirt under them.
β€œI don’t want to do it either. Β  Just imagine this phone call, β€˜Hello this is Meka, Doug’s wife. Β  He was, turned into a woman by a plant on another world. Β  He wants to know if you will come over and help us be proper earth women. ’  Do you think she would come over here or hang up on you and think you were nuts?” I explained.

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β€œI think she would believe that I probably will be spending winter in a hollow tree,” she admitted.
Shortly afterward, there was a knock on the door.
Meka answered the door as we had planned, while I went into the bedroom.
β€œHi, I’m Gwen. Β  Are you Meka?” Gwen greeted her.
β€œYes, I’m Meka. Β  I am happy to meet you. Β  Doug has told me so much about you,” Meka said as she gently shook Gwen’s hand.
β€œWell Doug never mentioned you I’m afraid. Β  What did he say about me?” Gwen asked with an eyebrow raised, as she doffed her coat and handed it to Meka.
β€œOnly that he cares for you deeply and needs your help very much,” she told her truthfully.
β€œOh my, then he told you more than he ever admitted to me,” she was shocked that Doug would open up to this woman about their relationship, more than he ever had to her.
β€œSo where is that headstrong fool,” she grumbled, arms folded in a defensive posture.
β€œBefore you go in and see him, I think that I should prepare you for what you will see. Β  Doug’s plane crashed in the jungle.

 

  Β  He was hurt in the crash although not seriously and when he was well again he wandered off into the jungle only to be attacked by a plant no one in the civilized world has heard of yet. Β  It changed him. Β  So, try not to be too upset when you see him. Β  Are you ready?” Meka explained holding Gwen’s hands and looking into her eyes as earnestly as she could.
β€œThis sounds crazy, and if I didn’t know that this is Doug’s apartment I would call the men with the long sleeved white coats that tie in the back, to come and pick you up sister,” Gwen told her, uncertainly.
β€œDoug, you can come out now,” Meka called to me.
I walked out wearing my black skirt, scarlet silk blouse, and two-inch pumps, unable to look Gwen in the eyes, β€œHi Gwenie, it’s me, Doug. ”
Gwen fainted dead away.
**********β€œWow, she’s really out,” Meka, declared as she tried to rouse Gwen.
β€œMaybe we should put her in my bed. Β  We can keep it dark in there so that when she does come out of it, there will only be dim images around her. Β  Maybe that will keep it from hitting her in the face all at once,” I thought aloud.
β€œI like it,” Meka said as she picked Gwen up and carried her to the bed. Β  I watched as Meka took off Gwen’s shoes, her dress, and then panty hose. Β  β€œDoug, strip down to your undies and crawl in with us,” she told me with a sly smile.

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β€œWhat are you up to?” I asked her as I complied, leaving all three of us close together in the bed.
β€œIt is an old jungle remedy for shock. Β  Laying with the victim will keep her warm and we can comfort her,” she told me as she spooned against Gwen. Β  β€œCome on don’t be shy. Β  I’ll bet you two have been closer than this. ”
β€œUh… I’m not taking that bet,” I told her as I hugged them both close to me. Β  (Which is not all, that close when you remember how big my boobs are. )
β€œSee if, you can wake her Doug,” she prompted.
β€œGwenie, wake up. Β  I need your help dear. Β  Please wake up Gwen,” I pleaded as I gently shook her.
β€œDoug?” she mumbled dreamily, β€œDoug, who is that bimbo I saw in your apartment?”
β€œMeka, is not a bimbo, Gwen,” I said rather indignantly.
β€œNoooo, not Meka, the other one,” she asked, her eyes still closed.
I heard Meka giggling on the other side of Gwen as I told her, β€œI’m the bimbo Gwen, Doug. ”
β€œDoug’s a man.

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  Β  Big dick swinging guy, not a bimbo,” she replied, as she was rolling over toward my voice.
β€œI was a big dick swinging guy. Β  But I was attacked and now…  Well now my girl friend, my lover, just called me a bimbo,” I couldn’t keep the little choking sound from my voice as the tears threatened to start soaking my pillow.
I watched as her eyes fluttered open, focused on me and she recanted, β€˜I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called you a bimbo. Β  Nevertheless, you can’t be Doug. Β  He was taller and you don’t even look like him at all. Β  Doug has red hair, blue eyes, and broad shoulders. Β  Even if someone cut his dick off, stuffed gallons of hormones into him, and did extensive surgery, he wouldn’t look like you. ”
Meka come to the rescue, β€œI saw it happen to him. Β  That is the real Doug in front of you, fighting back her tears. ”
β€œIt just isn’t possible. Β  Hey, wait a minute. Β  What am I doing in bed with two strange women?” she exclaimed.
Meka sat up and told her, β€œIt is an old jungle remedy for shock. Β  You fainted and we thought that this would be the best way to bring you out of it.

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  β€
β€œJungle remedy?Β  This is Reno, Nevada, well just outside of Reno, anyway. Β  There isn’t a jungle for a thousand miles,” she replied indignantly.
β€œThat’s it Meka!Β  Can we take her through the spare room and show her?” I sat up looking at Meka hopefully.
β€œNo problem. Β  Let’s all get dressed,” she hopped out of bed and started pulling on her clothes.
β€œYou think I’m going anywhere with two strange women who are obviously more than half a bubble off plumb?Β  You two are nuts,” Gwen jumped up and started quickly dressing.
β€œDon’t worry Gwen you won’t even leave the apartment,” I lied, as I finishing slipping, my high heels on.
When Gwen was dressed we led her to the spare room, both took her hands, and promptly walked all three of us through the wall.
β€œAhhh!” Gwen screamed as she passed into the temple, β€œWhat the fuck just happened?”
β€œYou are now in the jungle of my world,” explained Meka with a huge shit eating grin on her face, β€œand it is a hell of a lot farther than a thousand miles. Β  Oh, and don’t faint, the floor is stone and very hard. ”
We both had tight grips on her hands, β€œAre you two trying to make a fool of me?Β  Big deal, you built a room in the next apartment that looks like a Mayan temple. Β  You don’t fool me. ”
Meka and I looked at each other and led Gwen outside into the lush green jungle, where she promptly fainted again.
Meka went back to the temple and brought out a bedroll and we lay back down with Gwen and gently brought her back to consciousness.
β€œGwenie, wake up it’s me, Doug the bimbo, wake up and smell the jungle,” I giggled at my own silliness.

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β€œDoug?Β  Your voice sounds strange. Β  Have you been into the helium again?” she mumbled.
I giggled even more and told Meka, β€œIf I breathed in helium now, only dogs would be able to hear me!”
β€œDoug, I had the strangest dream, you were a little blonde who was all boobs. Β  You and another woman walked me through a wall into a jungle. Β  Isn’t that wild?” she said sleepily as consciousness returned.
β€œToo bad it wasn’t a dream, Gwen,” I told her and kissed her lips.
β€œMmmph!” Gwen’s eyes were as big as golf balls, β€œyou kissed me!”
β€œYou make it sound like it was the first time, Gwenie. Β  I’ve been kissing you for more than two years,” I told her looking straight into her eyes.
β€œDoug?Β  Is that really you in there?” she started to finally realize we had been telling her the truth.
β€œYes dear, it is me. Β  See Meka I knew this would work,” I lifted myself up on my little arm, my chest bouncing, hither, and yon.
β€œJesus, Doug you sure have yourself a pair!Β  You always did like them big,” then she gave me a dirty grin, β€œhow do you like having them yourself?”
β€œTo tell you the truth Gwenie, I like them even better on me than on another women,” I grinned back.
β€œYou haven’t had them very long, wait until you get back aches and discover they are in your way all of the time,” she insisted, as she started to stand back up.
β€œI think that is a small price to pay for the orgasmic pleasure I get when they are sucked on,” I told her as I kissed her lips again.
Meka jumped in with, β€œHey, why does she get all of the kisses?Β  I’m your wife too!”
β€œYou’re married?Β  Doug, how could you!” she started clouding up and readied herself to run away.

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β€œSo are you, Gwen,” Meka interjected, β€œhere, I am a priestess and I declare you married to Doug and me. ”
β€œWhat?” both Gwen and I declared as we scrambled to our feet.
β€œI must explain. Β  Gwen when I saved Doug from the airplane crash, I yanked him through the portal into the temple, or he would have died in the Amazon, just as my father/mother would have. Β  Back when my other mother was the priestess, who saved him/her. Β  He too impregnated my mother but eventually, the genetic alteration bio-form took his manhood away, when I was only five years old. Β  He was a wonderful mother though and I loved her very much, she was the one who taught me to speak a little English,” she informed us both.
Gwen was giving me a look like, β€˜you knew all this?’
β€œThis is the first time she ever told me this part. Β  I swear Gwen,” I held my right hand over my heart and my left in the air, except that my right hand had actually grasped my left nipple.
Gwen thought that was just about the funniest thing she ever saw, and apparently so did Meka, just my luck to screw up like that at a time like this.
β€œIf I didn’t believe you before Doug, I do now. Β  Any woman who has tits that big would know to put her hand on her upper chest for the over the heart part,” she came over to me and hugged me to say she was sorry. Β  Nevertheless, just to rub it in she, cupped my nipple saying, β€œI forgot you told me that you like how these feel, didn’t you. Β  Maybe you were just groping yourself for the thrill. ”
That proved to be a mistake because my knees went all rubbery and I wound up back on the bedroll.

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β€œOh God Doug, I’m sorry. Β  Wow, they really are sensitive,” she bent over to help me back up.
β€œHas anyone got a cigarette?” I asked, trying to stand back up and focus my eyes.
β€œWas it good for you?” Meka asked once I was on my feet again.
β€œI’m in love with my new wife… and my first wife too,” this time, I remembered to include Meka, to make up for kissing Gwen twice already, I kissed Meka first.
She remembered to support me when she stuck her tongue down my neck.
When I could focus my eyes again, I kissed Gwen, expecting a quick peck, but she wrapped her arms around me, squeezing my boobs tight between us, and she cleaned my, tonsils. Β  That girl has a tongue longer than some guy’s cocks.
β€œWhy don’t we finish her off later. Β  Right now, I want to show you one of the plants that did this to Doug,” she beckoned us to follow her.
Gwen wasn’t moving.
β€œUh, Meka!” I called to get her attention.
β€œWhat?Β  Aren’t you coming?” she stood on the trail ahead of us, fists on hips.
Gwen was standing beside me, hands on hips, and yelled back, β€˜You’re crazy if you think I’m going off in this jungle to look at a man-eating plant. ”
β€œWhy?Β  They don’t eat men.

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  Β  They eat their maleness. Β  You two don’t have any maleness, so they won’t bother with you. Β  Come on,” she did the come-hither arm motion, and turned to start up the trail.
Gwen and I looked at each other, shrugged, and followed her. Β  A hundred feet or so we caught up with her and she led us off the trail twenty or thirty feet until I recognize the blossom that looked like a woman, β€œThat’s one of those suckers, I recognize the lure. ”
β€œOnly now the scent will not effect you like it did before, they produce a very powerful pheromone, which will draw any male near, straight to it,” she informed us, β€œwe use the scent in our chocolates to make the men of our village amorous beyond their control. ”
β€œI can attest to that. Β  That stuff is like super Viagra. Β  I was so horny I would have made love to a traffic cone,” I admitted. Β  β€œIf we brought some back with us, we could put Pfizer, out of business. ”
β€œWe can bring as much as you want. Β  As long as we can provide for my village what we need so much,” she promised, with an earnest expression on her face.
Gwen bit first, β€œWhat do your people need?”
β€œSperm!Β  Lots, of sperm, Doug was only able to impregnate ten of our women before he… she… well you know what I mean,” she declared looking down at her small hands as she fretted a small twig.
β€œYou knocked up ten women, and were, going to run out on, them?” Gwen was livid as she looked angrily into my face.
I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could utter a word, Meka spoke up, β€œWe never told Doug that he was a father.

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  Β  I didn’t speak much English then, and the ladies and I just kept stuffing mints into him. Β  We have so few males now, and we frantically needed to get as many of us pregnant as we could. Β  Doug only did as we wanted, and as his body had to. Β  I am sorry I did not try harder to tell you Doug. ”
β€œGwen, I think that Doug believed that he was still in the jungles of the Amazon. Β  He never knew that no matter how far he walked, he would not have ever found any more people here. ”
β€œThese plants have almost wiped out all of the people of our world, and worst of all we brought it upon ourselves. Β  Down in the vegetation overrun cities, where once my people thrived, a scientist created these plants long ago. Β  They were supposed to genetically recondition people vastly extending our lives, but the plants mutated and began thriving off, of the Y chromosome. Β  Now they will extend life but only for males, and only once. Β  Doug is now almost ten years younger than when the plant attacked. ”
When she was finished, all Gwen and I could do was stand there with our mouths open.
Meka brought us back to our senses by prompting, β€œCome let us return to Doug’s apartment. Β  We have much to do. ”
Gwen and I just followed her in silence.

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  Β  We entered the temple and walked out into my living room.
β€œOther than marrying me to you two, why did you call?” Gwen chided, as we took seats and made ourselves comfortable.
β€œOh shit!Β  Where are my manners?Β  Can I get either of you anything to eat, or drink?” I stood up ready to go to the kitchen.
β€œDoug, you have been missing for over a month, and before that you were on assignment in Brazil. Β  Do you actually have anything in your refrigerator?” Gwen knew me so well.
β€œBetter than that, I have freshly made groceries,” I scurried to my stash of food that I had brought with me. Β  There were some of those weird fruits, which reminded me of grapes the size of softballs, some of the jerked meat, which Meka had been feeding me, a jug of that unreal brandy, and forty or fifty pieces, of chocolate mints. Β  I grabbed three snifters and small plates, put everything on a tray including knives, and presented it to my guests.
β€œDoug, what is this?Β  I’ve never seen anything like them,” Gwen marveled as she picked up a green grape.
β€œBe’ Chu,” supplied Meka, β€œvery tasty, and they’re good for you. ”
β€œI never knew what they were called, but I love them. Β  Try the jerky too,” I tempted her with a hunk, while Meka helped her self.
β€œGood selection Doug, everything here lasts a long time without going bad. Β  Here, Gwen, try the chocolate,” Meka handed her a piece.
β€œAre you trying to get me into bed?” Gwen had already heard about this chocolate.

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β€œDon’t worry Gwen, the only effect it has on women is to make you incredibly attractive to men, and that only lasts an hour,” Meka informed us both.
Gwen bit into one of them, β€œMmmm, this in wonderful. Β  Look out, Hershey’s. ”
β€œThank you, the mark on them is mine so this is one of my own batches. Β  This was a good idea Doug, I hadn’t realized how hungry I was,” she leaned over and kissed my cheek. Β  β€œWe need to answer Gwen’s question though, why we need her. Β  I will bet that she has a pretty good idea anyway. ”
β€œGwen, it should be painfully obvious to you,” I started, β€œthat we have no idea how to be women back here on dear old planet Earth. Β  Neither Meka, nor I know the first thing about styles of dress, make-up, lingerie, shoes, hairstyle, etiquette, and in my case, feminine hygiene. ”
β€œOh, girl lessons!Β  That makes sense,” she agreed. Β  β€œIf I’m your wife now this should be fairly easy. Β  It is a good thing that you have a California King mattress, or else there wouldn’t be room for both of your wives you, bigamist you. Β  When do I move in?Β  Ooh, and what do you want me to teach you first?” Gwen was in fine form.
β€œI promised Mrs. Doug that we would go shopping after you got here, and I hate to disappoint the little woman,” Meka told her then wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek.

 

  
β€œIn that case we had better get you both dressed for the public, follow me ladies,” with that said, Gwen marched into the bedroom.
β€œJudging by what I saw earlier, you two have figured out panties, and to some extent bras. Β  We need to get you two into pantyhose, the outfits can go back on after that later,” she tossed a package to Meka and one to me. Β  β€œI am going out to my car and bring in my overnight bag and make-up case. Β  When you put the pantyhose on, be sure to bunch them up until you can just poke your toes in, and then un-bunch them as you draw them up your legs. Β  Be careful and don’t pull on them hard, or you will put your finger through them. ”
Gwen left us to wrestle our pantyhose, while she went to her car.
Once I had them on the little light in my head went on, and I began to quicken my pace and dressed quickly, β€œThat goof!Β  I’ll be right back Meka,” since she, was several stages behind me, β€œI have to go help Gwen. Β  The stuff she is bringing was hard for me to carry when I was a big strapping man. Β  It will take at least three of four trips. Β  That woman packs for a full week when she visits. ”
I scooted out the door, past the suitcase that was already waiting at the door, and out to catch Gwen at her car, β€œNeed a hand beautiful?”
She did her Southern Bell impression, β€œWha ma deah are you trahin to pick lil ole me up?”
β€œNo way, you are bigger than I am now. Β  I just thought you could use some help with carrying all of this stuff,” I admitted, as I took her make-up case and another small case, β€œAnd since you are so big and strong, you can take the big suitcase,” I giggled my head off, usually I was the big and strong one, and would carry the heavy stuff. Β  This time, Gwen packed it she carries it.
We both trotted to my apartment together, and I asked her, β€œIs this all of it?”
β€œYes, we have it all, why?” she looked at me suspiciously.

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β€œI was wondering why you packed so light this time is all,” I said as I tried to maintain an innocent expression, but was failing miserably.
β€œWow, it sure is you, in there Doug. Β  If you really were a girl, you would know that I brought only the barest, essentials,” she admonished me.
When we reached my front door, it was closed and locked. Β  The little light on top of my head came on and I remarked, β€œShit, I don’t have my keys!”
β€œDon’t worry Doug, I brought mine, I had to use them to open my car,” she explained, β€œusually they reside in my purse, which is on your end table at this particular time. Β  No worry though, Meka is still in there and would open the door if we knocked. ”  She whipped out her key and gained us access to my abode.
β€œYou better go and get your plastic Doug, your whole wallet for that matter and drop it in my purse, then meet me in the bathroom,” she trotted off with her make-up case, leaving all of the others in the living room.
I stuffed my wallet into Gwen’s purse, then grabbed a couple of her bags, which I could barely lift, and waddled them into the bedroom, where they could be unpacked and permanently put away in the closet and dressers.
When I popped into the bathroom, Meka was sitting on a chair that was normally in my bedroom, while Gwen was applying her war paint.
β€œThis isn’t going to be exactly right. Β  You have darker skin than either of us, so most of my make-up will not be right for you, but we’ll make do,” she informed Meka as she was just applying the finishing touches, β€œwe will stop at the EstΓ©e Lauder, counter in the mall and have them help pick out the right color tones for you. Β  Oh, hi Doug, and you too. ”
β€œShe will be done… now. Β  Okay Meka take a look and tell me if you like it,” Gwen spun Meka toward the mirror.

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β€œIs that, me?Β  I look like the women on the television,” she marveled.
Gwen used a hand towel to flick pretend hair off of the chair and hollered, β€œNext victim!”
I gulped hard, and sat down in front of her saying, β€œBe gentle it’s my first time. ”  I was panting so fast that I was becoming, light headed.
β€œRelax silly, it’s just a little make-up,” she started with the foundation, and went on from there. Β  When she was finished, I wanted to fuck me.
β€œI don’t know if I want to go with you two, now,” Gwen told us, β€œwith you two along, I’ll be the ugly one,” she bemoaned her own good work.
β€œDon’t worry Gwen there will be plenty of leftovers,” I teased as I stood and inspected her work again.
She slapped my ample ass in retribution, β€œQuit gawking at yourselves, and let’s get on with it. ”
We all marched out to Gwen’s car and spent hours shopping, buying clothed, underwear, dresses, blouses, skirts, slacks, shoes, purses, make-up, and even feminine protection.
On our way home Gwen dragged us through a grocery where we picked up two hundred bucks in groceries, and yes bagboy, we wanted help out with that.
It took us a dozen trips each to unload Gwen’s SUV. Β  We put away the groceries, but all agreed that we were too bushed to do it all.
Meka and I stumbled into the bedroom, with Gwen lagging behind a few seconds. Β  When she caught up with us, she had two baby doll nighties in her hands, β€œYou lovelies might want to put these on. Β  You are going to look so hot, but not until you march into the bathroom and remove that make-up ladies.

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  β€
β€œOh, do we have to,” I moaned like a nine year old.
β€œJump to it girls or no sex tonight,” she clapped her hands sharply in a motherly fashion. Β  She followed us in and showed us the miracle of cold cream.
We turned out the lights and dropped into bed, and no, we didn’t have sex, it was a really tough day after all.
**********
.

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